Every office has one.
This guy takes it to the next level. He's a well-paid, middle-aged engineer (so he should have enough money to buy food, right?)
When the bagels are delivered on Mondays, he's right there to grab 5, which he promptly puts in a bag and it goes into the freezer. He then takes 2 more and toasts them and slathers with cream cheese. On Mondays he gets to work at 8 am. Other days at 10.
Sometimes when the fruit delivery comes, he comes to the kitchen with a shopping bag. He pretends he's at Whole Foods. He inspects, smells and pinches the fruit from each of the boxes, fills his bag, and goes back upstairs.
There's a Whole Foods just down the block...and a bagel shop...actually 3 of them.
Sometimes I wonder if he's like Kramer on Seinfeld and has some Japanese business men stashed in his filing cabinet that he has to feed, since he charges them room and board. He is skinny, after all. He couldn't possibly be eating all the food by himself....
We had a Hoarder at the last place where I worked. This guy actually did eat all the food he hoarded. He was a big boy.
The IT department would draw straws when his computer needed fixing. His keyboard was so full of crumbs and so mucked up with yesterdays meal, that no one wanted to touch it.
One time I had a lunch time meeting with him over in the sales area of the building. As we walked over, sales was opening up a lunch buffet to celebrate some-poor-fool-who-bought-a-big-honking-chunk-o-product. They offered for us to partake.
The Hoarder loaded up a plate with a leaning-tower-o-buffalo-wings and we headed into the conference room. He was wearing a paper-thin polo shirt that he'd probably had since 1980, and I could make out all the folds of his flesh and all of his ample body hair. I tried to focus on his face while we met. But, he really got going on the wings...
Soon his whole beard was ensconced in bbq sauce. He was talking as he snarfled on the wings. Then it happened....
A huge chunk of chicken wing dislodged from his mouth and landed square on his left nipple. As he talked, his man-boobs were jiggling up and down highlighted by the chunk of chicken wing.
It was all I could do to make it through that meeting without laughing, puking, or both.